Bill Maher: Kamala Harris Should Have Called Her Book “Everyone Sucks But Me”
HBO host Bill Maher argued the divide between Americans is on steroids and is getting worse in a monologue delivered at the end of his show “Real Time” on Friday.
BILL MAHER: New rule. Of all the ways America continues to divide itself, nowhere is it more pronounced than in gender. And until the Democrats come to grips with that, they won’t have much success winning elections. Let’s just put it out there. Women are the Democrats’ base. And men who get hit in the head for a living are Trumps. They’re the bro party, the party of car shows on the White House lawn and breaking shit and seeing what happens and busting balls and shooting stuff like beer and laws. It’s been that way for a long time, the mommy party and the daddy party, the party of pussy hats and the party of truck nuts. But that divide is on steroids now and getting worse. In the 24 election, young men preferred Trump by two points and young women, Kamala, by 24. The only way Trump can appeal to women 18 to 39 is making him one of his lawyers. Men and women can barely date anymore because they can’t stomach each other’s politics. It’s why everyone is gay now. We’re just, we’re just done with each other. If you don’t believe me, ask yourself, what podcasts do I listen to? Trump bros have 50,000 of them about politics and protein powder, while in the woman’s sphere, the podcasts are all about balancing career and motherhood until eventually true crime happens and someone gets murdered. They like murder. We like killing people. Here’s a mind-blowing stat about the divide. Seventy-three percent of boomer men disagreed with the statement, mental health challenges are an important part of my identity. Seventy-two percent of Gen Z women said the opposite. They agreed mental health challenges are an important part of my identity. OK, let’s say it all together. Women are better than men. They’re smarter and kinder and make way better firefighters. But I’m never moving past it isn’t really the campaign slogan we’re looking for. I’m sorry, Democratic women, but this is your party. You have a special responsibility to look tough. Senator Alyssa Slotkin seems to get that. And not just because of her service in Iraq and with the CIA, but because she says things like Democrats need to fucking retake the flag. Democrats have to stop being weak and woke, she says. Good message, because no one’s holding women back anymore. In many ways, they’re leaving men in the dust. Women are much less likely to be unemployed now, less likely to blow a month’s pay on Draft Kings, and much more likely to complete college. The only writing young men do these days is engraving their bullets. Booing into applause, very rare. America now has 14 million women-owned businesses, which generate $ 2.7 trillion in revenue. Women launched 49 percent of all new businesses in 2024, and the number of black women-owned businesses outpaced the growth rates of every other demographic. In the Barbie movie, when she storms into the Mattel boardroom, it’s 12 people, all men. But Mattel is a real company, and in 2023, their boardroom was actually six men and five women. Perpetuating victimhood, especially when it’s false, is not a great advertisement for leadership. Kamala Harris’s new memoir of the 24 election is called 107 Days. But it should have been called Everyone Sucks But Me. 107 Days is a victim’s title, because get it, she only had 107 days to win. Yeah, and a billion and a half dollars, and a built-in army of about 75 million people who’d vote for any human-adjacent life form that wasn’t Trump. But in 107 Days, nothing is ever Kamala’s fault. Biden lets her down by not stepping down sooner. Pouty face emoji. Gavin Newsom, he was asked for his endorsement, but texted, hiking, we’ll call back. But then never did. And then he didn’t even ask her to prom. America, America itself, lets Kamala down by not being ready for the running mate she really wanted, Pete Buttigieg. So she’s stuck with the Home Depot paint salesman, and the rest is herstery. Poor Kamala. We made her the star of a rom-com and didn’t even give her a gay best friend. Kamala writes that on election night, when it was clear she’d lost, an aide peeled the words, Madam President, off the cupcakes before handing them out. Oh, jeez, that’s like a scene from Bridget Jones Runs for President, for Christ’s sake. Look, ladies, I know this isn’t fair, but we’re all always running against the worst cliche of who people think we are. Women Democrats can’t look oversensitive or preachy or unable to laugh at themselves. They also can’t look silly, like Gretchen Whitmer did, trying to hide in the Oval Office. They have to look brave and strong. It wasn’t a good look for the woman party that all the guys were speaking out for Jimmy Kimmel when Trump went after him, except on The Woman Show, where for five days the outspoken hosts were suddenly as quiet as a geisha. Then on the fifth day, they rose and said, no one silences us. No one had to. You silenced yourself. Whoopi Goldberg continued, did you all really think we weren’t going to talk about Jimmy Kimmel? No, I thought you would, but then you didn’t. Five days? Let’s talk about needing extra time to get ready. And if you can’t take a breath and laugh at that, you’re making my point for me.